Decliners FC vs Easton Monday 95

Match Reports

A few late drop outs meant Decliners faced the Mighty Monday with a skeleton squad of 13. However we gave them a good run for their money and it proved to be a close, competitive match. A worldy from Gaffers for our goal. Good luck Monday for the run in.

MONDAY MATCH REPORT

The pre-match planning on how to cope with the infamous BAWA slope went in the bin as the 95ers discovered they were playing on a much flatter if no less bumpy pitch on this chilly but dry Sunday morning. The officious referee laid down the law on the removal of all jewellery (for health and safety reasons) much to the frustration of Morgs who struggled to remove his ‘dandyish’ pro- footballer-inspired ear studs. At his post-match press conference Morgs told waiting reporters… “Having recently adopted a true Sunday League veteran’s pre-match regimen that now includes no less than 1 double espresso, a 400 cal protein/carb shake, half a slice of toast and two bananas, followed by 2 pints of water in the car en route to the pitch, and lightly finished off with a single high caffeine pill for good measure, I felt more than ready for any goal scoring opportunities that this vital league fixture might present on the day.”

Unfortunately someone forgot to tell him that he had to hit the target or beat the keeper to actually score. Within minutes of the opening whistle, he’d stung their keeper’s hands at least twice, maybe three… and had each effort pushed outside the post, much to his wild-eyed, caffeine induced surprise.

Centre-back Jim Philpott later told reporters… “We started reasonably well, maybe a bit slow to the ball. Getting the ball down to pass seemed a big ask.” Striker Sheridan adding… “From the off it was clear the Mondays had a few post Xmas cobwebs to clear plus contending with the pitch and a committed Decliners team.”

The deadlock was broken when Decliners took the lead with a ‘worldy’ from about 35 yards leaving Sir Lee in the Monday goal stranded as the ball sailed over his head sneaking in just under the bar and into the net.

Despite the set-back, the Monday continued to probe forward and earned an equaliser thanks to an unfortunate goal-keeping error (no doubt helped by the bobbly nature of the pitch) which saw the ball ‘jump’ over the Decliner goalies’ hands leaving Morgs with easiest of tap-ins from an inch out. A finish Blazer Sheridan might have adopted later on in the game.

This, as Morgs and the rest of the Monday strike force discovered, would be the only error their otherwise excellent keeper made all morning.

As Monday utility player Alex Orozco noted in his post-match interview… “From that moment on we started to show a higher level of fitness. Dudds and Yinka kept the running going all match against a decent midfield.”

This lead to the 95ers best spell and played a bit of football, taking the lead with a rare decent team move.

Morgs, having reasonable sight of goal took the whole team by surprise when he clearly lost his head and uncharacteristically laid off a pass to Draner just inside the box whose shot was placed in the bottom corner.

A few more half chances went begging, a header from a corner from Jim and an overhead kick from Morgs as the striker himself described to his fans on Instagram… “Tme suddenly appeared to stand still as a nicely weighted cross was lofted into the box from the right wing. In what seemed like about 15 seconds of deliberation in my head, I made a decision to attempt the impossible; the vaunted overhead kick perfected by Rooney, Ronaldo and others. Heaving my still jittery limbs skyward, I somehow managed to connect foot to ball, whacking it goalwards and looping menacingly to the left top corner. Or so I thought. In reality, I only managed what would appear to anyone on the sidelines as a meagre half volley, with the ball falling laughably short of the goal and the keeper simply strolling out two yards and collecting it before distributing it to a bemused Decliners defender.”

The introduction of Sheri at half time gave the attack a Kane like fulcrum, and the 95ers looked dangerous, creating frequent chances but frustratingly finding a variety of ways to not score that included missing the target from close range and shooting directly into the keepers face. Sheri’s tidy touch and approach play outside of the box was mysteriously reversed when entering the penalty area, the highlight being a 50 cm roll-over-the-line-tap-in being somehow miss hit to allow a defender to hack the slow rolling ball clear.

As Philpott observed… “Second half we were rubbish but we defended well, marshalled by a dominant Neil, we kept them at bay whilst under constant pressure.”

Left back Rance added… “I overheard Neil yelling with perverse delight that “THIS IS JUST HOW I REMEMBER THE DOWNS LEAGUE 40 YEARS AGO!” No doubt ‘International’ Steve Jones (recovering at home from a recent heart attack) would have endorsed.

Orozco added… “Our defence dealt strongly with a constant charge that failed to produce any decent chances for them. Neil was particularly vociferous and commanding across the back four.”

Any half chances Decliners created were skilfully dealt with by the ever-commanding presence of Sir Lee in the Monday goal. The last twenty minutes was end to end with Decliners looking for an equaliser and 95ers the clincher.

Monday needed a third to settle the nerves of the onlooking Chairman (running the line) and it came in the final minutes after great work from Draner and a ball across the goal which Duds smashed in.

Rance later told reporters… “The least I say about the game the better, full on grumpy old man mode I’m afraid. Thought we were the better team in the first half but just couldn’t get the final ball right, when we did, we lacked quality in front of goal. Second half, we battled well , but lacked any consistent quality when in possession of the ball. Finishing was abysmal and thankfully, Lee pulled off a couple of decent saves to keep us in front.”

Philpott commented after the game… “Deffo a game where the result was better than the performance, but one in which the resolute defence saw us home.”

Drane concluded… “It was Mondays first game in a while and it showed but enough glimpses to nick us the points.”

Orozco summed the game by adding… They are a nice bunch of lads, and great ref as well. A win is a win.”

MOM: Neil (by a country mile)